Unsealed Section: What you need to know about different types of orgasms, according to sex therapist Christine Rafe
By Bronte Gossling|
In 1998, Australia's first woman-identifying urologist ?Professor Helen O'Connell "discovered" the clitoris จC but despite her best efforts, the clitoris' role in vulva-owners' pleasure didn't become a topic of mainstream conversation until the rise of social media, modern sexologists, and shows like Sex Education.
Even then, it's a topic that's largely misrepresented and subject to much debate, largely because orgasm as a whole is misunderstood, even for those are more-researched sex organs จC after all, unlike what is commonly believed, when penis-owners ejaculate, that doesn't mean they're orgasming.
Here's what you need to know about different types of orgasms, including when things can go wrong, according to Womanizer's sex and relationship expert Christine Rafe.?
This article does not replace specific medical advice from seeing a medical professional. If you have questions about your body specifically, seek advice from your doctor.
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What should an orgasm feel like?
Before we get into the different types of orgasm and how to reach them, it's important to understand how you know you're having one จC but, like with anything sex- and relationship-related, it's not that simple.
"In its physical sense, [orgasm] actually means the involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor [but] the contractions of the pelvic floor don't mean pleasure, it's not guaranteed," Rafe tells 9Honey, noting how orgasm and pleasure are often used hand-in-hand, but they're separate sensations (though often connected).
Pleasure, for example, can occur at any stage of the sexual response cycle. Orgasm, meanwhile, is its own phase of the cycle.?
"If you're doing something like clitoral simulation or any type of simulation that feels really pleasurable and then you have like a physical [reaction], often it's a release," she continues.
"Where the tension is building in the muscles and particularly the pelvic floor, it's an involuntary release of the muscles, and with the release of the muscles and the contraction of the muscles, then there is the experience of pleasure that comes with that pleasurable stimulation that the tightened muscles then have to contract."
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No orgasm is the same, Rafe emphasises, noting the reason being that pelvic floor contractions are separate to pleasure despite the concurrent stimuli that sparks them.
It's in this same vein ?where ejaculation by penis-owners is confused with orgasm จC involuntary muscle contractions do occur in the orgasm phase (climax) of the sexual response cycle, as does ejaculation, but unlike what's commonly believed, they're separate reactions to similar stimuli. While orgasm and ejaculation in penis-owners do usually occur at the same time, that's not always the case จC you can have one without the other.
"Experience can vary in terms of whether it is pleasurable, whether it is the muscle contractions with a little bit of pleasure, a whole lot of pleasure, very pleasurable," Rafe says.
"That is often depending on the person, but also a whole range of other factors, which could be medical, emotional, relational, how much stimulation."
Why can't I orgasm??
It's also partly because no orgasm is the same ?that Rafe, who is a sex and relationship therapist at Sydney's Good Vibes Clinics, sees in her practice clients who are unable to reach orgasm, particularly if there's a "misalignment between what they expect an orgasm to be versus maybe what it is for them."
"Typically, the longer that we are pleasurably stimulating an area and if we're talking about vulva-owners, stimulating the clitoris, the longer that we're doing that and it's feeling good, usually the greater the release of tension and the greater the pleasure," she says. "But that's not everyone's experience."
Like no orgasm being the same, no reason for not reaching orgasm is the same จC and that's something Rafe recommends exploring with a licensed professional.
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What are the different types of orgasms?
There's no one-size-fits-all approach ?to reaching orgasm, nor is there one type of orgasm set in stone.
There's a standard orgasm, which, for penis-owners, is often when involuntary muscular contractions and ejaculations occur. There's also the blended orgasm, also known as the whole body orgasm, when multiple erogenous zones are being stimulated at once for both penis- and vulva-owners.
Orgasms outside of sex?
It's not something that's limited to the bedroom, though when and where else you can have an orgasm might surprise you.?
Both vulva- and penis-owners can ?orgasm during their sleep, whether due to a dream or other unknown stimuli. It's also possible to orgasm due to exercise, especially with weight training, cardio, and abdominal-focused exercises that increase blood flow in the genital areas.
Clitoral orgasms?
This is one of the most popular and reliable for vulva-owners, with 70 to 80 per cent preferring or requiring their clitoris to be stimulated to have an orgasm.
When someone refers to a clitoral orgasm, usually it's with the external clitoris in mind, and orgasm can be reached when the external portion of the clitoris is stimulated by being gently rubbed with the fingers, palm, or tongue in a back and forth or circular motion.
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G-spot orgasms?
Technically, a G-spot orgasm can also be classified as a clitoral orgasm, however, the way it's reached is different.
The G-spot, after all, is located roughly two-and-a-half centimetres inside the vaginal opening on the upper vaginal wall, closest to the belly button. It's a sensitive area made up of erectile tissue and a large cluster of nerve endings, and swells slightly when vulva-owners are aroused.?
G-spot orgasms, as a result, are best achieved through penetration จC but not necessarily from a penis.
"If you think about it, a penis is usually pretty straight or even if there is a curvature on it, if you're having penetrative sex, it wouldn't actually be hitting that area, it would be going around it," Rafe says.
Rafe recommends sex toys that specifically target the G-spot, like Womanizer's OG, or digital penetration in what Rafe calls "come hither" motions tapping into and moving towards the G-spot area.
It's also possible to have a cervical orgasm, brought on by deeper penetration.
Prostate orgasms?
Just because you don't have a vulva doesn't mean you don't have a G-spot จC ?for penis-owners, their G-spot is the walnut-sized prostate gland accessed through the anus. It's ultra-sensitive and penis-owners can orgasm through it being rubbed gently.
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Painful orgasms
Like ejaculation and orgasm, painful sex and painful orgasms are not the same thing, despite occurring in similar situations.?
Painful sex, which can occur for a myriad of reasons including ?vaginal dryness, is what Rafe would describe as "anything that is painful, usually with painful penetration."
"So even before orgasm, they've experienced the pain," she says, noting how sometimes there can be psychological reasons behind the pain.
"When people describe painful orgasm to me, I would interpret that as not necessarily painful penetration, but at the moment of orgasm, or post-orgasm that they might experience pain," Rafe explains.
If you're experiencing painful orgasms specifically, Rafe says that's normally a sign that something is going wrong in your pelvic floor.?
"Orgasms should not be painful," Rafe says, noting how some people can experience neutral sensations with regard to orgasm.
"They could be anywhere on a spectrum from 0 to 10. And if they're painful, it's probably worth seeking advice from a gynaecologist, GP or pelvic floor expert."
Contact Bronte Gossling at bgossling@nine.com.au.
