'My mother-in-law is lovely but she doesn't respect my parenting'
I've always been good friends with my mother-in-law, Jill, and think she's a remarkable woman.
She was a single mother to three kids back in the 1970s when life would have been very difficult, and she's raised the amazing man my partner Ethan is กช I love him to bits.
She's also a very supportive grandmother to our two sons and they love her so much. In fact, sometimes I fear they love her more than they love me! OK, I know that's not entirely true, but they are very devoted to her.
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The only problem with that is they tend to listen to what she says over what I say. I will tell them something and they will reply, "Nan says that's not true."
Jill is a very domineering character and isn't one to suffer fools, and she sometimes makes it very clear that she sees me as a fool.
The issue for me is that she is not only controlling, but very condescending. She only sees me as a "housewife" when I am much more than that, as I also work part-time from home.
When the kids are asleep, that's when I start working, sometimes into the early hours of the morning. Jill was a housewife for a long time, so you'd think she'd have some empathy for me and everything I juggle, but that's just not so.
She likes to tell me what she thinks the kids should be eating. I'm trying to get them to eat less red meat but, whenever they go to her house, she makes sure she gives them กช you guessed it กช red meat!
I'm also trying to get them to eat much less sugar but she fills them with chocolates and lollies. She's always baking cakes that are very sugary. I always remind her to please not give them so much sugar but she just laughs and tells me she grew up with plenty of sugar and "turned out just fine."
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I'd love to have the courage to stand up to her and say health education has moved on a lot since she was young and too much sugar is not good for you, but I find her intimidating.
She also tries to control what the kids watch on TV. She has banned some TV shows I think are perfectly fine for kids, and then she will start talking politics with them, which goes way over their heads, but days later they'll start repeating her views.
Ethan thinks it's great his mother is so involved, and I agree กช but only to a point. I'd prefer she let me parent my kids without trying to be such a big influence on them. Maybe as she gets older she will tone things down a bit; let's hope so.