'We need to talk about kids' birthday parties - they're getting out of hand'
By Heidi Krause|
O?PINION -- Kids' birthday parties. We need to talk about them.
I have two boys, aged six and seven, so have been thrust, headfirst, into all the drama and politics of these milestone events.?
Let me just say from the outset that I am stunned by how many tears and angst birthday parties at this age can cause. And yes, I'm talking about parents as well as the kids.
Firstly, in the lead-up to the big day, there is the invitation dilemma.
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Do you invite the whole class? Or just a select few, thus upsetting those left off the all-important list? Can you even afford to invite the whole class?
Hello, cost of living crisis. ?
And what happens if your child is the one who is left out? It is heartbreaking to witness.? It's happened to me, and I think I was more upset than my son.?
One mum, who did not wish to disclose her identity, recently unleashed in an online forum after her son was the only one in the class excluded from a party in a particularly brutal fashion. She was deeply upset.
"My eight-year-old son came home crying yesterday because another student M handed out birthday party invitations to all of his classmates except for him," she wrote, adding that the child apparently "smirked" at him and told him he didn't "make the list".
"I have no issue with M not inviting my son... but it seems unnecessarily cruel for him to deliberately exclude my son, and only my son, in front of his classmates at school."
I have to agree, that does seem horrific. ?And unnecessary.
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In an attempt to get the issue resolved, the mum decided to speak to a teacher and was told a new policy would be implemented to prevent kids from giving out invitations at school unless EVERY classmate is invited.
The incident sparked a huge debate among parents.
Many thought it was a chance for kids to build resilience. Because, let's face it, ?every child is going to have to deal with being 'rejected' or left out of an event at some stage throughout their childhood and teenage years.
Why not teach them that lesson early on? Let's stop protecting our children from disappointment.
Plus, kids can be cruel even if an invitation is discreetly texted among parents.?
?Others felt very strongly that the mum should have also spoken to the child's parents as the student's approach seemed particularly mean-spirited. I agree inclusion is incredibly important and parents need to be the ones instilling these values from a young age.
We need to teach our kids to be very mindful of other children's feelings.?
And as much as I think mums and dads should stay out of kids' altercations and playground disputes, perhaps there is a point where a teacher or parent does need to step in. As was the case here.
Let's also talk more about the ridiculous cost of parties, which seems to have escalated.
I'm all for a simple party in the park with fairy bread and a nice game of pin the tail on the donkey, but this just isn't the norm anymore.
The COVID-19 effect didn't help, with many parents trying to make up for the pandemic ruining past celebrations.
The options are limitless. But if you opt to have a party at a play centre or similar venue, or even at home with an entertainer or jumping castle, you are usually looking at around $35 a head. If 15 kids are invited, ta-da... before you know it, you've hit $500.
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Then, of course, you need to pay for a birthday cake (even if it's homemade) and party bags. ?And if you have two kids or more, double those costs every year. ?
It's getting out of hand.? And there seems to be way too much pressure around these parties จC mostly on parents.
Plenty of parents ?only allow a 'big' party every second year, and it seems guest numbers drop as kids get older, but these early primary school years are quite eye-opening.
Let's bring back ?the old party in the park or Macca's (now that was iconic). Lower expectations. Keep the tears to the sugar-induced crash after the party.
All kids really want is to have fun with their friends.
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