An expert's guide to tackling conversations about online safety with kids
By Yasmin London |
I was a police officer for 13 years, and have worked in the online safety space for 11.
During that time I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly in situations involving social media and young people.
And while I agree there is much to be done to improve the safety of young people online, we also need to turn inwards to talk about the personal responsibility we each have.
The responsibility to step forward, inform ourselves, think more critically and to step away from our screens and group chats, to be part of the solution.
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Recent statistics highlight that parents have a lot of concerns when dealing with online spaces, top concerns being cyberbullying, exposure to explicit content, teens connecting with strangers, and excessive screen time.
However, despite acknowledging these issues, many parents lack confidence in discussing them with their teens and children.
They need advocates, not those who provoke more fear and anxiety, which ultimately leads to the worst case scenario - disempowerment and disengagement because it all gets put in the "too hard" basket.
So as the Executive Director of ySafeI'm partnering with TikTok to close those gaps by raising awareness of tools and strategies to help parents a child in the digital world.
I'm doing it because I know parents need this support, and I'm committed to being part of the solution, rather than a passive bystander.
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Encouraging open dialogue
There is a lot of research to show that parents remain intimidated by TikTok in particular, which ultimately means they struggle to support their teens' experience of it - a situation we can no longer afford.
Savvy social media users exhibit higher levels of confidence in engaging in discussions with their teens, driving home the message and importance of parents actively participating in the online world to better understand why their children love it.
Parents, the secret is actually in treating the online world as a place, not a platform.
By engaging and participating in open dialogue and understanding the environments your children frequent, you can foster trust and create a safe space for your teens to share their online experiences, concerns, and challenges.
That is, after all, the end goal, and it's yours for the taking.
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Parents are trying, but it's not enough
Parents are taking some actions to safeguard their children's online experiences however, for example one-third of parents have their child's phone passcode (something many teenagers see as an invasion of privacy and an indication of a lack of trust).
Additionally, a significant number of parents demand their teens show them their social media profiles and feeds to review (good luck with that, and your teen showing you the real one they use), and some parents also threaten to remove their child's phone or devices if they do the wrong thing.
These steps demonstrate good intention and may work in the short term for younger children, but are not long term solutions that empower and equip teens to build capacity and digital resilience.
I mean, what did you do as a kid when you were told you couldn't do something?
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Addressing concerns and empowering parents
Let's be honest - parents are busy. We all are. They want practicality, and advice from those that deal in the real world.
That's where existing tools like Family Pairing for instance come into play. External device controls that can be tailored as kids grow up, and the functions contained within the platform that create a safer experience for younger users like restricted modes.
There is also the service linking parents into incident management support like the Office of the eSafety Commissioners reporting scheme or the TikTok Guardians Guide to help bridge knowledge gaps.
These are helpful strategies but most importantly, enable parents to have the conversations that matter in their homes.
So much about the role we play as parents comes down to managing access and setting boundaries, but ultimately the most important of all is effective communication with teens.
When we get this right, we create a dynamic in the parent- teen relationship that means problems can be solved or prevented because trust already exists, often because the hard work has been done before a problem occurs.
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No matter what way you look at it, addressing the concerns surrounding online safety on platforms like TikTok requires collaborative efforts.
I'm a parent, and I know I am my girl's first and most influential role model.
I'm also an advocate and ally to many young people, and I see the light and shade of the online world (trust me).
But, I can also see the many benefits platforms like TikTok provide us all, so I am leaning in to these important conversations.
I refuse to be a person criticising from afar without also throwing my hat in the ring to help.
For me, I'm comfortable that years from now I know I will have played my part, and I'll be proud of getting to the grassroots to do whatever I can to safeguard our young people online, including my own.
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