'You just die on the inside': Mum speaks out about her battle with incontinence
By Kate |
For as long as I can remember, the fear of not making it to the toilet without warning has plagued my life.
I would become dehydrated and get Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs) and didn't think I could do anything about it จC it made me hide away.
When I began to work in hospitality as a young adult, there were even less opportunities to go to the bathroom, which led my incontinence issue down an even more painful จC and dangerous จC path.
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I had to keep working, so I would limit my water intake and become dehydrated and get UTIs instead of needing to go to the bathroom all the time.
It got so bad I ended up on a drip in the hospital.
My lowest point was at the Logies with my husband. I was heading back to the room and I just couldn't last, and let go when I got in the elevator.
I went right there in the lift. You just die on the inside. You hope that others had enough to drink and they didn't know the full extent of it and you shut yourself off from the world to save your pride.
That's all you can do. I can still visualise it now - you just don't get over it.
When I gave birth to my daughters, Maria, 11, and Ava, 10, I felt completely alone in dealing with my urinary tract issues.
The doctors had no answers... I would be standing, holding two little babies and it hit and I had to go. And when they were older, I coudn't even jump, run or play on the trampoline with them.
Every time you need to go is a shooting pain... you blame it on pregnancy and just accept that nobody can fix it. It progressively got worse. All I remember is always needing to know where the toilet was and I just had to live with it.
About five years ago a gynaecologist diagnosed a "narrow urethra" as the reason for my incontinence so I underwent surgery.
It was widened but nothing changed, making feel so hopeless knowing I would have to live with incontinence forever.
It felt like I was dying a slow death. It can put you into a spiral of sadness, shame and frustration and you completely lose who you are.
I'd tried it all จC surgery, kegel exercises, antibiotics, cranberry juice for the UTIs and other things. I gave up.
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After speaking with my doctor, Dr Liz Golez, I'm now using VTone from InMode's women's wellness platform EmpowerRF, a new form of intravaginal electrical muscle stimulation and neuromuscular re-education.
The first session was not what I expected and I barely felt any pain.
That night, I braved having a glass of water before bed and I walked like a regular human being all the way to the toilet. I could have jumped for joy.
Normally, when I wake up at night I would have to hang on the entire walk to the bathroom, but that night I didn't.
Urinary incontinence affects about 24 per cent of men and 53 per cent of women. Data shows one in four Australian women suffer from incontinence. More than half are under the age of 50, and about a third of women that have given birth will experience it, like me.
While my incontinence hasn't gone away, it's a lot better than what it was and it's managed now. I'm not in a rush to go จC and I'm not desperate. I can do so much more with the kids now and it surprises me every time.
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