The phone call from daycare Joshua's devastated parents will never forget

On the Friday before four-year-old Joshua was set to start kindergarten, his mum Carien Van Wyk received a worrying call from his daycare teacher.

"She said 'you need to pick Joshua up right now and take him to the hospital'. She said if we don't come now, she was going to do it herself."

That night doctors at the hospital found a brain tumour, and four years later Joshua lost his battle to cancer.

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"He started complaining about heachaches and not wanting to go on bike rides. He used to go on four kilometre bike rides with me," Carien told 9Honey Parenting. "He was so fit. So at first, I thought it was just a way of getting me to let him stay home from school".

It wasn't just headaches that were impacting Joshua's energy levels and his usual demeaner.

"His eyes sometimes looked like he was having an allergic reaction. They were swollen and watery. And he was tired," she said. "He just wanted to lay down and sleep a lot and that was quite odd for a boy who was usually full of energy and didn't stop."

Carien and her husband Oscar would take days off to stay home with Joshua thinking he may just be sick and need some rest.

"It's like with parenting - your child is sick and then a few moments later your child is fine again. I just thought 'maybe it's just me being soft'", she said.

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Regardless, Carien took her little boy to a number of GPs to examine him, as he consistently told her his 'head was sore'.

"The last GP started checking out his eyes and suggested we do a scan. At that stage they thought it was an eye problem so they were going to give him prescription glasses", she said.

They had the scan all booked in, though before they even got the chance to do it, Joshua's daycare teacher made that alarming phone call to his mum on a Friday afternoon.

Melina was Joshua's daycare teacher for about seven months and during that time she had also noticed a few small changes in him.

"She called and said he can hardly walk as he is loosing his balance. His eyes were turning inwards. She knew there was something not right", Carian recalled.

Carian immediately drove to pick Joshua up from daycare and took him to the emergency at Perth Children's Hospital.

That's when they got the devastating news.

"They did a scan and an MRI and that's when they found a lump," she shared. "It was a hard experience as my oldest sister's little boy was born with leukemia, so we kind of knew what it involved having a child with cancer. We knew what Joshua would have to go through."

Dealing with the shock of the diagnosis, and preparing for the battle that was to come for Joshua and their family, was incredibly tough.

Carien tried to stay strong and think clearly, but says she couldn't have done it without the kindness and assistance of one incredible organisation.

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"We were assigned a social worker from the hospital to our case and she was the first person to introduce me to Redkite", the mum said.

Carien was given an overnight bag from Redkite filled with toiletries and small necessities to assist her and her family during their initial hospital stay.

"In situations like that one of the parents may have to stay overnight at the hospital and they might not have things like shampoo or soap to wash with. It was the last thing on our mind at that stage, so to have someone think of it for us was amazing", she explained.

Following that brief introduction to Redkite, Carien and Oscar found themselves turning to the organisation's many other support services at the different stages of Joshua's battle.

"They sent us storybooks to help explain to Joshua what he was going through. Our first Christmas we received a huge box of Christmas food and goodies to brighten up the occasion. They also helped pay some of our utility bills after I resigned to spend more time with Joshua", she said.

In 2018, Joshua's parents were forced to make the heartbreaking decision to stop his chemotherapy treatment because of the toxic side effects.

He passed away four years after he was diagnosed on February 14, 2019 surrounded by his loving parents and his beloved dog Mango.

After Joshua passed away, Redkite was also there to help.

"The counselling that I received from the branch was just priceless. The counsellor phoned me at least once a week and would just stay on the phone until she thought I was OK. She got me through a very dark, dark stage in my life", Carien said.

If it wasn't for the help of Redkite, Carien isn't sure she would be here today.

"They took me through every step slowly and with patience. Lovingly, until I could think clearly again", she said.

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While she thinks about Joshua every single day, Carien and husband Oscar try to push through the harder days and do something special to commemorate their 'bundle of joy'.

"It's a bit hard because [on Valentine's Day] you walk around everywhere and everyone is happy", she told 9Honey Parenting.

"He created a Spotify playlist with his favourite songs and we listen to that. And we cry together."

On what would have been his 11th birthday in August, the couple went to Joshua's favourite restaurant Hog's Breath Cafe and ordered his favourite dish - the curly fries.

"It's bittersweet. You want to stay at home and cry but we also want to celebrate him," Carien says.

The couple are hoping to travel to Japan for their 25th wedding anniversary, to relive a trip they took with Joshua the year before he passed.

Redkite has been at the forefront of childhood cancer care in Australia for almost 40 years.?

The organisation is a lifeline for families facing childhood cancer, providing the critical emotional and mental health support, financial assistance, and information and resources they need throughout the long and challenging cancer experience.?

Contact them on 1300 194 530 or redkite.org.au.

If you or anyone you know needs immediate support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or via lifeline.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.

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