Pregnancy Diaries: Newly pregnant DJ Tigerlily reveals miscarriage heartbreak before baby joy
Ever wonder if other women experience pregnancy the same way you do? Now is your chance to find out.
Our new series, Pregnancy Diaries, is all about sharing real women's true pregnancy stories จC the highs, the lows, the hilarious and the shocking from conception all the way to birth.
In this diary entry, mum-to-be Dara Hayes - better known as DJ Tigerlily - opens up about to the joy and heartache of falling pregnant one month after a miscarriage.
Want to share your own pregnancy story? Email it to mleach@nine.com.au
"The month before falling pregnant with this baby, I had a miscarriage at about eight weeks. It was pretty crappy and very unexpected. We've been so lucky and I feel like it's a bit triggering to talk about because trying to conceive is so hard for some people.?
We fell pregnant the first month we tried, which was amazing, but after the miscarriage I thought my body was probably going to need to rest for a while. You don't think that you can have a miscarriage and then just fall pregnant straight away, but Scott [Lawson, her husband] and I just thought we may as well try. If it happens, it happens and if not, we'll keep trying over the next few months.?
There wasn't like much expectation because I had just had the miscarriage and I definitely didn't feel pregnant. I'd just gone to my friend's hen's party and had bottles of champagne. I'd done a pregnancy test before the party on the off chance I was pregnant, but it said negative.?
READ MORE: Kids ruin couple's grand wedding entrance in viral TikTok
Then I was up visiting my grandma, she just had a big surgery so I went up to help look after her the week after. I was doing some grocery shopping for her in Woollies and my period was due that day and I just wanted to spew my guts up everywhere.
I felt so ill, I was thinking, 'Have I got food poisoning? What's going on?' Then I realised my period was due that day, so I bought a test just to put my mind at ease. It'll be negative, it'll be negative, it'll be negative, I thought.
I went home and peed on the stick while feeling sick and it came up positive. I was in shock because it had been exactly a month since having the miscarriage. I called my husband straight away and he was very excited, then I ran outside and told my nana.
She was just so over the moon, it was a really beautiful way to find out. I'm really happy that I was up there with my nana, I don't think many grandmas would get that experience in their lifetime.
READ MORE: Sydney woman's horror after topless beach photos shared
We told our close family and friends, especially after having the miscarriage we wanted everyone close to us to know in case something happened. In regards to the public, it was pretty easy to keep a secret. I've only just started showing in the last fortnight and before that I just looked a bit bloated.?
I'd make sure I was having light meals before I'd go on stage, planning my meals around my work schedule and choosing flattering outfits. It also does help that I'm standing behind a table a lot of the time!
"I expected pregnancy to be this glowy, flowy, relaxed, 10 months."
I've also been pretty lucky with symptoms. I had nausea but I realised if I ate a lot of small meals every day, it could keep the nausea at bay. My main symptom was fatigue. But when I say fatigue, I have thyroid problems and I've had iron problems in the past จC but this is fatigue like I've never felt before.
People tell you, but until you're pregnant you think it's just feeling like you're tired. But I'd go to sleep for 11 hours, wake up and need to go back to sleep. The sleep doesn't even make you feel better, because you are growing a baby, which is really tiring work. Looking back, I don't really know how I did it. I was just a zombie without a personality for three months.?
For a daily dose of 9Honey, subscribe to our newsletter here
I'm just trying to take things as they come, but there's so many laughable symptoms. All my body hair's gotten dark and I've had laser all over my legs, but it's coming back so much darker. And veins, now if you look at my wrists, they're bright blue and big, it's really crazy. There are so many things that you just have to laugh at because it's bizarre.
I'm very confident in general and I've had these days where I feel so insecure and I don't know why. Talking about it has been really good, because I never thought I'd get insecure while pregnant. I just thought I'd feel like a glowy female goddess the whole time, but it's not like that.
I expected pregnancy to be this glowy, flowy, relaxed, 10 months and it definitely has not been like that. The first three months was in zombie mode and everyone said, 'Don't worry, at 12 weeks you get your energy back'. But I didn't, I had to wait until about 15 weeks to get my energy back.?
READ MORE: Celeste Barber says Emily Ratajkowski blocked her on Instagram
You've got to remember that everyone's body is so different. Some days I'm really elated, some days I'm anxious, some days I feel down for no reason. Recognising that that's okay and that's just part of being pregnant has been something that's really helpful.?
I'm really looking forward to feeling the baby kick, it should be any day now and that will be a really beautiful thing. But what I'm trying to do at the moment is just enjoy each day because I know it's going to go by so fast. There are so many things about pregnancy that aren't great, but there are also so many things that are so amazing."
If you or someone you know needs grief support, call Red Nose 24/7 on 1300 307 308.?
For a daily dose of 9Honey, subscribe to our newsletter here
