'I wasn't ready': As Alicia sat in the maternity ward shaking, she realised she needed help

Alicia thought she was past the trauma of her first birth, but when she arrived at the maternity ward for an iron transfusion for her second pregnancy, it resurfaced.?

"I could hear the babies crying, I could see the dads walking with the babies and I was just in there shaking, that's when I thought to myself, 'I think I need some help,'" she tells 9honey Parenting.?

Like a lot of first-time mums, Alicia admitted she didn't really know what to expect when she went into the birth of her son.?

"All I had known about giving birth was what you see on movies, and that is so unrealistic," she explains.

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While Alicia never had a set birth plan, things went out the window when she went overdue and felt like she was rushed into an induction, something she didn't want.?

"They did explain to me what happens with the induction process, but it was just a telephone call because they wanted me to basically have the baby the next day," she says.

But she admits if she really knew what the induction process was, the mum-of-two never would have agreed to it.?

"But because it was such a rushed scenario, I didn't," she says.?

"I wasn't able to make an informed decision basically to have that induction."?

As soon as process had started, Alicia recalls feeling like she was "on a stopwatch" and when things weren't progressing after four hours, she was told she'd have to have an emergency caesarean.?

"That didn't sit right with me, because that's not what I wanted," she says.?

READ MORE: 'An open letter to mums who have just been through a traumatic birth'?

Alicia was told she had to give birth on a weekday because she suffers from a cardiac condition, although with a healthy lifestyle and medication it doesn't affect her.?

"I was basically rushed to have the baby that Friday, and I wasn't ready, so I was exactly 41 weeks when I did have him," she says.?

"But then afterwards, I've obviously done all this research about going over to, and I don't think it would have been the end of the world if I did go a little bit longer."?

READ MORE: Birth trauma - what it is and how to get help?

For Alicia, the biggest thing that traumatised her was the heart condition.?

It wasn't until the process of being induced that she was told she wouldn't be able to be on the induction drugs for that long because of her heart.?

"This was not mentioned to me at any point until then," she says.?

"Not from my cardiologist, he said, 'There's no issues, Alicia.' They even got me sent to a specialist hospital in Sydney to make sure everything was fine and they didn't mention it.

"Then all of a sudden, I'm in labour and I'm told then, and I'm like, 'Well, if I was told this beforehand I would have never had agreed to have been induced unless it was medically necessary.'"?

READ MORE: Woman's pregnancy announcement overshadowed by her best friends reaction?

It wasn't until the months after giving birth that Alicia started to look back on the experience and realised it wasn't right.?

"The first few weeks after having my son, I wasn't myself," she explained.?

"I wouldn't quite say it was postnatal depression, but It was something. I was crying at silly things and I was having triggers that were taking me back to the birth.

"I really wasn't able to move on from that until I was about four months postpartum. And then I didn't actually look into anything until I fell pregnant again."?

Alicia knew she didn't want to go through the same experience.?

READ MORE: Maddi was feeding her babies at 3am when a stranger's voice echoed through her dark house?

But it was what happened in the maternity ward for the transfusion that pushed her to get help.

"It's almost like I buried that trauma until I fell pregnant again," she explained.?

The doctor gave her a referral for Gidget Foundation to help her through her second pregnancy and it was then she was diagnosed with PTSD from her first birth.?

"She helped me process not only the trauma from my first, but she gave me the support there to push to advocate for myself the second time around," Alicia explained.?

"And it worked. I ended up having the most positive birth experience the second time."?

Alicia was one of the 4,000 people who made a submission to the Select Committee on Birth Trauma in New South Wales, which found that multiple mothers had suffered preventable birth trauma.?

"I made my submission when I was quite heavily pregnant," she said.?

"I already had the feelings there around the birth trauma as I was currently going through the pregnancy."?

She wants it to change something because she believes that there's not enough knowledge around birth trauma, for both women giving birth and for medical professionals.

The medical information in this article is general in nature. Please consult your GP or other healthcare professional for advice that is specific to your health needs

Perinatal mental health support is available from the PANDA National Helpline on 1300 726 306.