Unsealed Section: Sorry Boomers, young Aussies are redefining what counts as sex, according to Chantelle Otten
By Maddison Leach|
Young Australians are changing the way they define sex and experts say it's got a whole lot to do with increased media representation and awareness.
"You only have to turn the TV on to see how the landscape has evolved, with more realistic sex scenes and better representation of all different kinds of relationships," Bumble's resident sexologist Chantelle Otten tells 9Honey.
Sex has also become a far less taboo topic among young people, so they're more comfortable talking about their sexual experiences than their older counterparts.
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All that means that young Aussies are being exposed to many different forms of sex and intimacy, which is in turn changing the ways they define intercourse.
Gone are the days when penetrative penis-in-vagina sex was the only "real" way to have sex. Sorry Boomers.
Bumble's Sex Index shows that Gen Zs and Millennials believe there are five different types of sex; penetrative sex, being naked with a partner, oral sex, outercourse and solo play.
Just over 40 per cent of Aussie singles believe 'outercourse', which is any sexual activity that does not involve penetration, is an accurate description of sex.
That means grinding, massages, manual sex, kissing and use of sex toys all count as sex to almost half of young Aussies, compared to a much smaller number of older Aussies.
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"Outercourse as a term isn't new. It came about in the 80s and has had a pretty steady increase since, as people's understanding of sex continues to grow," Otten says.
"Sexuality and intimacy are multi-faceted, and their definitions can be subjective."
About one in three young Aussies consider just being naked with a partner as sex, while 23 per cent of Millennials believe that solo sexual play is an accurate description of sex.
It just goes to show that the definition of sex is more about how each individual experiences pleasure these days, rather than one narrow, prescriptive definition.
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While older Aussies may feel confused or uncomfortable with these new and potentially unfamiliar definitions of sex, Otten says broadening our sexual horizons is a good thing.
"This idea of penetrative sex being the only type of sex is incredibly damaging and limiting to people with different sexual orientations," she explains.
"It erases recognition of people in the LGBTQIA+ community or people with different sexual capabilities (e.g. erectile dysfunction or vaginismus) or different abilities, of which many would be having a lot of sexual fun, but maybe not penetration."??
Sticking to the narrow, outdated idea that penetrative penis-in-vagina sex is the only way to be intimate is also limiting for Aussies who just don't experience pleasure that way.
It can also undermine the importance of consent in all intimate encounters, not just penetrative ones.
"Every form of sexual intimacy, penetrative or not, requires mutual respect and agreement," Otten insists.?
"By broadening our understanding of what constitutes sex, we foster a more inclusive, compassionate, and comprehensive dialogue about consent, pleasure, and relationships."
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The prolific sexologist is glad to see young Aussies broadening their definitions of sex and challenging traditional, usually heteronormative ideas of what sex can be.
Not only does it give young people the space to explore their sexuality in a healthy, respectful way, it also breaks down old stigmas about pleasure.
"By having a broadened definition of sex, it reduces the shame around sex education and allows people to be confident in their sexual exploration, creating safer and more enjoyable experiences," Otten says.
